Gone!

1 week, 6 Christmases... already gone. I seriously cannot believe how fast this year went. This past week was a lot of fun. We got to see a whole bunch of people we only get to see a few times during the year and we had a blast. I was off from the 15th-27th and I definitely needed the break from work. Unfortunately, I spent the 6 days sick and the other 6 trying to recover. Nothing contagious, just a terrible respiratory thing. I'm still coughing ungodly looking things up. Oh well, it'll pass. I'm looking forward to New Year's this year because I love to people watch. I've decided to not drink and just be a spectator, hopefully there will be some good stories for me to tell! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. If I don't get a chance to write the next few days, HAPPY NEW YEAR! And a Happy Birthday to my Dad on the 30th. If I look that good at 56, then I'll be a happy man!

Christmas Season is Upon Us

Well, Christmas #1 is now behind us and it was a lot of fun as usual. Lots of good food, spirits, and people. Found out another one of Kristine's cousins is getting married in October... good thing they picked Yom Kippur week, so Mikey has a football game on Thursday night instead of Friday (which I'm sure they planned)! We have received a good number of Christmas cards in return, which I am happy to see, I would hate to deny so many of our Christmas cheer. Although it is so far away, I CANNOT wait until next Christmas. I know it is always a happy time of year, but it just seems like it will be a lot more fun with a little baby. I know the grandparents will be super excited! I was just thinking tonight how its been SO LONG since we've seen a little baby at any family get together. I'm so glad that little baby will be ours. Only a few short months and I finally get to be the dad I've always wanted to be!

Have you heard about the bird?

So, in case you haven't heard... Kristine and I are gonna be parents... in less than 96 days. Finally, some inspiration for this blog! Its hard to tell whether this pregnancy is going really fast or kinda slow. It seems like it is taking forever, but every time I turn around, another week has passed. Either way, in approximately 13 weeks, I'm gonna be a dad. In 8 days Kristine is gonna find out if we're havin a boy or a girl. I may or may not know the answer to the question already. Well, that's about it for now, until March, updates will continue to be regular, but less often. Once this kid comes out this blog will probably turn into a diary of my life as a dad... which I will later publish and make millions from.

Christmas Cards

I got a little upset yesterday about one of our (Kristine and my) traditions... Christmas cards. I don't really know why it bothers me, because I know that there are some people out there who just don't send them. We pride ourselves on having the BEST Christmas card. Each year, I want you to look at our Xmas card and think "this is a GREAT card!" I know it is only the 14th, but as of right now (and there are plenty of days before Christmas) we have received 4... yes, 4 Christmas cards. Last year, I think we sent out 75 cards and got back 25-30. Really? I don't understand how hard it is to send out a card. If you have kids, you should be ashamed! show them off! Take a picture of them and show them off... that's what they're there for! Are you worried about $$? You can send a picture to Wal-Fart.com and it'll cost you $0.21 per card. I know postage is tough these days ($.044 per stamp) but c'mon. You can't spend an extra couple of dollars each year to tell those close to you Happy Holidays. I've always believed that Christmas i the season for giving, so you will continue to receive your annual Leffler family photo, all I ask is that ya spend the $0.66 and return the favor. We sent out 80 cards this year, in a few weeks I'll let you know how many we get back. You have 3 years... if we don't get a Christmas card within that time period... you are off the list!

Gotta Love America

This is the time of year for giving thanks, for helping others and being completely selfless in the pursuit of giving something to the greater good. In America, the "greater good" means yourself and your family. Forget those who are needy, poor, homeless, they became that way for a reason (probably from poor decisions and a couple strings of "bad luck"). Sorry for not feeling too sorry for them.

However, for those who really care about the poor and helpless of the world, nothing says "we feel sorry for you" than to sing a global song telling them just how terrible their lives are. Take for instance my least favorite Christmas song of ALL TIME... "Do They Know It's Christmas". What a rdiculous song! "Feed the World?" That would be impossible to pull off. Record sales of that single wouldn't even feed a single contestant of "The Biggest Loser". So that was a stupid idea. Secondly, like all the songs of this genre, its just a bunch of egotistical celebrities flaunting how much money they have but pretending to care. Finally, have you ever listened to the lyrics of the song? No joke, there is a line, "Tonight thank God it's them, instead of you". Could you really rub it in their faces anymore? At least those poor people don't have radios, cd players or any other means by which to listen to this crappy song. If they did, they'd probably just kill themselves. (To hear this song, just check my playlist and click the ol' PLAY button!) Let's keep with the Christmas spirit and only listen to happy songs, like the one about grandma getting drunk and eventually killed by a careless sleigh driver.

30 Years Ago...

In honor of me turning 30 just a few short weeks ago and today being the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death, I thought I would give you (those of you who were around then) a reminder of what life was like in the Fall of 1980.

• According to Wikipedia... "1980 was the first year of the 1980's" (no shit!)
• The "Who Shot JR" episode of Dallas aired in November
• John Lennon is shot dead and not a single bullet hit Yoko Ono
• The US Population was 226,545,805 today it is 308,400,408 (on an interesting side note, Latin America's population decreased by a similar margin over the past 30 years!)
• Col. Sanders died at the age of 90, proving that today's fast food is much less healthier than 30 years ago
• Dow Jones High- 1000, Low-759
• Avg. cost of a new house- $68,000
• Unemployment 5.8% (10.9% Now)
• First Class Stamp- $0.15 (Thanks internet!)
• Federal Debt- $900 billion (Today it is $13.8 TRILLION... we've spent $13 trillion in the past 30 years?!? That's an average of $1.2 BILLION PER DAY)

Well, that's all for now, I'm kinda cuttin this short cause I'm leavin work and goin home! Hope everyone is having a good day

Already Sick of the Snow

It's been snowing non-stop since before I came in to work at 6am. I bet we're up to about 10 inches today, pretty impressive. It is actually a very pretty snow, I just hope it stops, and the nice white snow stays on the ground til X-mas. Pipedreams though, we all know the nasty shit they throw on the ground (salt/gravel mix) will have that nice snow (and our cars) looking like shit in no time. For now, I'll just keep using the heavy shoveling as my exercise for the day... its amazing how many different back muscles you use when you shovel a lot of snow!

Ah 2010, Where Did You Go?

Hard to believe another year is coming to an end. It seems like only yesterday I was writing my list of things from 2009. In no particular order, here they are... (please keep in mind that many things will be left off this list simply because I have a terrible memory)

1. I spent $600 on a gym membership, only to put on 10 pounds. Damn you LTF, damn you
2. A WFD at the BFD is even better than a BFD
3. I no longer have the desire to wash windows or clean gutters
4. I'm still addicted to crossword puzzles
5. My brain is completely full of absolutely useless knowledge
6. Life insurance is an even bigger scam than my gym membership
7. "Smart phone" data plan packages may be an even bigger scam than life insurance
8. No matter how funny a comedian is, they will never be able to top "Bill Cosby Himself"
9. The new Clash of the Titans movie was even worse than the first one
10. One is the loneliest number (I actually learned that a long time ago thanks to Harry Nilsson, but I just remembered)
11. No matter how many days I have off from work, its never enough
12. Turning 30 kinda sucks
13. I won $20 on the first lottery ticket I bought and haven't won since, stopping me from buying them altogether (there goes Plan B #1)
14. My golf game went to shit (so much for Plan B #2)
15. 2011 is already stacking up to be a very busy year. BFD, CFFD, JV Baseball (heyay), BBOG, LMNOP, Continuing to search for my next project, continuing my search for the lost city of Atlantis. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it

GRAPHIC CONTENT

WARNING! THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY POST CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL READERS, PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday today to at least 3 people I know (well 2 I know, 1 I'm glad I don't...) AK-34 (one of the stronger people I know), APB-30 and a big shout out to Britney Spears- 29 today, going on 45. Ah, the days of high school have long since past, as have Britney's good looks. I blame her parents (and the paparazzi) for driving her crazy. She never wanted to be that kind of celebrity. She was just a quiet girl from Louisiana who wanted nothing more than to have the finer things in life (1) an 18-hour marriage, (2) a toxic relationship with K-Fed, (3) a lifetime supply of Xanax and another coupon to Best Cuts, (4) Traffic tickets for allowing her newborn to sit on her lap while driving and drinking a Wendy's Frosty after a nice lunch at KFC, (5) to share her roast beef sandwich with the world.
Is she still a multi-gazillionaire? If so, that is a travesty! I once read that she used to spend over $75,000 a month on house mortgages...A MONTH! Why do we hard working, intelligent people barely make that a year? I blame... my parents... for not subjecting me to the ever-so-popular world of child stardom. A life where everyone was trying to get a piece of me. Just think, you guys could have been reading about me (1) a womanizer with 3 kids from 3 different mothers and a scorching case of herpes, (2) me walking on a beach shoving handfuls of french fries in my mouth and squirting the ketchup right in Tommy Boy style , (3) wrecking my Maserati in the California Hills with a needle in every available vein, (4) Riding shotgun with dudes from the Jersey Shore, (5) my mansack flappin in the wind after passing out outside a tranny bar in Van Nuys. Well, at least I can thank my lucky stars for one thing after this post, and that is the fact that my parents just let me be who I was... a kid

Kudos to those of you who noticed there 7, thats right 7 Britney Spears Hit Singles located somewhere in this post. Leave a comment with your guesses. Be the first to identify all 7 and get a personalized blogpost in your name!

thoughts on bumper stickers

Is there a better way to express how you feel about world issues than a $2 sticker permanently affixed to your $40,000 car? Not that I can think of! AIDS- no, not that AIDS, I'm talking about the American Institute of Diabetic Shemales. How about one I saw just yesterday, "Against your will is against the law." Here's an idea, "Drinking impairs your ability to think, so next time don't go home with that stranger from the bar!" I can't help but laugh at the people who feel the need to put 6 stickers on their windows supporting the same cause, if there is one on there already, I understand that you are all for it. The latest craze are the ones with just letters, i.e OXB, CLE, PIB (we get it, you live there, you vacation there... SO WHAT?) My fave still has to be the CHOC. Maybe you will get a free box of chocolates from Malley's if the guy driving the Malley's Truck happens to be stopped behind you at a stoplight. And are you really gonna accept it if a strange guy walks up to you and hands you a box of chocolates? How about my ideas for these acronym stickers... Medical Problem Stickers (this way I know what kind of person I am following. ANX (Anxiety), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), SCHIZ (Schitzo). Moreover, how about 70+ (over 70 years old), 90+ (you get the idea)! Maybe if you didn't have so many stickers on your car, you could see me taligating you and figure out that your driving is annoying me! Oh, and for those of you with the upside down sticker "if you can read this, roll me over"... its not very funny when you roll your car over on the freeway doing 75 in the slushy snow, now is it? (actual call from life as a paramedic). Enough from me, I'll just leave you with 2 stickers I would consider putting on my car if I drove a raggedy beat up piece of shit... "Hang up your phone and talk to your kids" and FU!

kristine... don't read this

I'll admit it... I'm a huge fan of the Snuggie. While most of you might disagree, I can only say one thing... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON! The Snuggie might be one of the most underrated products of my generation. It didn't help that it was promoted on some of the worst infomercials known to man. Had it been promoted correctly, there would 2 or more Snuggies in every household in the country. Here are my thoughts...

1. It is the most versatile blanket on the market

2. It is the warmest blanket of its kind (and by that i mean throw blankets and blankets for watching tv and sitting on the couch)

3. The sleeves offer you the use of your hands and if you like to sleep with your hands behind your head, you can do so while keeping them warm

4. I got the hoodless one, but a sleeve with your arm removed can double as a cap to keep your head warm (see picture)

5. If you sleep during the day in a well lit area, just pull the sleeve over your eyes, but above your nose and it doubles as an eye cover, effectively blocking out the light and allowing you to nap better

6. However... you cannot wear it to football games and stand up and cheer or go dancing or mow your lawn in it (it is like a hospital gown without the tie in the back)

7. If they put a tie in the back, then you could use it for above said uses... in which case, Kristine would be completely embarrassed, because I would probably never take it off

8. The skull and crossbones look is EXTREMELY manly.

OK, I've probably gone on WAY TOO LONG and beat this into the ground. I will continue to wear my Snuggie only at work, out of public view, and cry to myself when people make fun of me for wearing it. Still, probably the best $15.75 I spent all year